So I have realised during a lot of my rants that I often use the line, “why does this exist?” This of course, gave me a brilliant idea, make it a segment on my blog and I thought I would start off with something fun – PORN PARODIES.
When I heard that there was going to be a porn parody of “Girls” (aka the greatest show on the planet!) my first question was WHY!?! This led to me posting the following on Facebook:
The fact there is a porn parody of Girls depresses me. I also don’t know why there needs to be one… isn’t there enough sex in Girls already? It’s like making a porn version of True Blood…oh there is one of those…What’s next, a porn version of 30 rock? There’s one of those too!? That’s it, I give up!”
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate all porn parodies, I think some of them are probably quite funny (I haven’t really watched any so I wouldn’t know) but below are five I think the world could have done without.
The original HBO Girls
There are several things wrong with creating a Girls porn parody. One of my biggest arguments against it is that the show already has a lot of graphic sex scenes in it, as for the other ones, I think the show’s creator Lena Dunham said it best on Twitter.
The parody, which is very creatively titled “This Ain’t Girls XXX,” is produced by Hustler and while, according to star Richie Calhoun, it tries to capture the show’s weirdness it does seem to stray from the original. Hannah apparently gives up on men and turns to lesbianism for a while only to return to Adam who makes her “crawl” back to his bed.
Girls the XXX Parody.
2. The Simpsons
The Simpsons as we know and love them.
Arguably one of the most beloved cartoons on television, The Simpsons is not even safe from porn parodies.
Also produced by Hustler and titled “The Simpsons – The XXX Parody” (you would really think that Hustler would pay someone to think up better titles) is Homer and Marge’s sex tape…oh and it’s live action. NOT CARTOON! But don’t worry, they’re still yellow. Yep. Not kidding.
The live-action porn version.
3. Spongebob Squarepants
Cute kids cartoon Spongebob
Renamed SpongeKnob Squarenuts. Yet another live-action version of a cartoon…except this time it’s a children’s cartoon…oh and it’s about a sponge whose friends with a starfish, a squirrel and a squid. So how could they possibly pull this off?
The parody no one asked for…
With a LOT of bad costumes, that’s how!
And if you were wondering about the storyline… apparently
Spongebob SpongeKnob realises he’s the only sponge and therefore needs to procreate with the only female he knows…who happens to be a squirrel…well it was never going to make sense…
The original cast of Glee
Yet another kids show turned into porn. Meet This Ain’t Glee the XXX Parody (yes Hustler again…anyone else beginning to notice a theme here?) This wasn’t one of those parodies I immediately objected to, it was only when I read about a certain scene in it.
The Glee porn parody cast featuring all the girls’ bras because…well…why not?
In one of the scenes Tina (one of the glee kids) goes into the bathroom after being “slushied” (if you’ve seen the show you’ll know what this means) to clean up (which of course in a porno involves taking her clothes off…) and is followed by cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester who basically sneaks up behind Tina, places her hand on a strap on she’s wearing and promises to leave the glee club alone if Tina plays along. This is just waaaaay to creepy. I’m not creeped out by lesbianism (I am bisexual after all) but by the fact that there’s a teacher wandering around the school wearing a strap-on under her clothes!
Also did I mention they sing parody songs with more sexual lyrics, for example Queen’s Fat Bottomed Girls becomes Big Tushy Ho’s, which, come to think of it, is actually more disturbing than the thought of a teacher walking around wearing a strap on.
5. World of Warcraft
World of Warcraft which features many weird and wonderful creatures.
World of Warcraft (or WOW as it is known to nerds around the world) is a fantasy online role-playing game that now has it’s own porn parody series Whorecraft or WhoreLore as it’s now known. Yes, you read that right, a SERIES. Again this is live action featuring a lot of strange costumes and make up (think green women and elf ears.) Unlike the others in this list though, WhoreLore seems to have quite a large budget but still…really?!
(I couldn’t find a SFW image for this one.)