The Reasons I Hate ‘Why You Should Marry A 19 Year Old’

While looking into feminism blogs I stumbled across this little gem;
The Reasons Why You Should Marry A 19 Year Old

I was so disgusted by this article that, after having a little rant on Facebook, I decided to annotate it and then post it on here. I’ve decided to keep all the lovely photos the original author chose because I feel they really show his male chauvinism, especially the ones that seem to have nothing to do with the point (what is with that baggage photo?!) My annotations will be without italics (in case you couldn’t tell!)

The Reasons Why You Should Marry A 19 Year Old

SEX • EDDIE CUFFIN • MAY 21, 10:51AM

As life goes on, most men get to that particular age when they decide that they should settle down and have a family. Now, in order to do so, a man must reach a point where he is financially stable and can afford to raise a family. After his affairs are in order, he must then decide  on whom he should marry, and by this age, he should know what he wants. And we hope at this point that his years have brought him wisdom.

 

If this describes you, we’re here to help push you in the right direction. Your life travels and experiences throughout the years have brought you a wealth of knowledge and understanding of the world. You are at a pivotal point in your life and you need to make the right decision when it comes to whom you should marry.

 

Do you want to spend your life with an old washed-up hag who has been through the works or do you want a younger, faster model that you can help mold into the perfect woman?

 

 

Image

A woman who is older already has her ideals set and has made up her mind about what she will and won’t do. The older she gets, the less likely she is to change. Younger women are more willing to compromise. It’s much easier to mold a 19 year old into the perfect woman for you. This is not saying that she will not be able to make her own decisions and has to succumb to everything you say.

 

This simply means that since she is impressionable and she can learn what you like in order to understand you better. In the long run this will also help you build more of an appreciation of her and the things she does for you.

 

This is assuming that 19-year-old women are idiots who cannot make their own decisions. Trust me, by 19 I was not doing whatever a man said, I was a teenager for god’s sake! What teenager does what they’re told? And if a person kept trying to tell me what to do I would sometimes do the opposite just to spite them.

Image

When she is officially of drinking age, there is a high chance that she will go out and get into trouble. Who knows what a woman will do with a few drinks in her and a bunch of thirsty men on the prowl — no one wants to marry a Lindsay Lohan. If you pick her up when she is 19, you can prevent such a lifestyle by getting her at the ripe age. You will be her protector from all the temptations out there and you will make it your duty to keep her on the path to staying good and pure.

 

First, I am in Australia where the legal drinking age is 18 – so for me, this null and void. Second, do you know anyone who didn’t drink before it was legal?
Third, this article is supposed to be for men looking for a wife – not a daughter. Do not act like my Dad!

Image

Even though the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, not all women come equipped with the ability to cook. Now we are not asking for crème brûlée, but simple dishes that can be made would easily will suffice. The older a woman is who cannot cook, the less likely it is that she will learn to.

 

At 19 the fact that she cannot cook is still adorable — if she is willing to learn, and teaching her how to make simple dishes will be a breeze. There is nothing wrong with having her learn to make dishes that you both like. This way it actually benefits both of you.

 

Again, I have numerous problems with this point;
1. Just because she is a woman, does not mean she should be able to cook. Case in point; me. I am 24 and I cannot cook for the life of me.
2. Do not call my lack of cooking skills “adorable” or I will punch you.
3. I will not learn to cook things I won’t eat e.g. I am a vegetarian, so if you want meat – cook it yourself!

Image

There is nothing better than a brand new computer model that hasn’t gotten a chance to be corrupted by the world of viruses and trojans around it. As a 19 year old, she hasn’t really gotten the chance to go through much. The older women get, the more baggage they acquire throughout their life journey.

An older woman may have tons of baggage with her and it can make the experience quite annoying. A 19 year old has not, generally, been scarred by the world and hasn’t had the chance to collect much baggage over the years — so she travels light.

 

Sigh, everyone has baggage. That’s why there’s even an imaginary show called Baggage. Even at 19 you can still have baggage.
Also, as a computer nerd, I feel the need to point out that as long as you protect your computer with an antivirus and fire wall it won’t be corrupted by viruses. If you’re nice and NOT an arsehole to your partner – they have one less piece of baggage to worry about. 

Image

The older they get, the more they want, and the more they get — the harder it is to please them. The young ones are easily impressed because they haven’t seen much. Therefore you no longer have to waste money on expensive dinners and the finest clothes. There is nothing wrong with doing so, but just know that getting a 19 your old is like getting an upgrade, but paying half as much.

 

It’s like doubling the horse power on your car, at a bargain. You can pamper your 19 year old, but because of her age, she is easily fascinated and it does not require much economic strain on your wallet.

 

There are so many problems with this I don’t know where to begin.
First 19 year-old women can still be quite brand aware, e.g. I decided I want a Cartier diamond engagement ring at age 16.
Second, we are not stupid.
Third, stop assuming women only care about money.
Fourth, I am not a fucking car!

Image

At this point in your life, you have traveled the globe and experienced the finer things in life. Now you have become wise and thought about settling down. What better way to settle than with someone who thinks everything you say is absolutely brilliant. There’s nothing like having someone reassure your brilliance. We are not to say that 19 year olds do not have the capacity to be intelligent or carry on a conversation, it’s just that the experiences you gained from your world travels will be sure to impress her.

 

Trust me, if you’re taking advice from this article, NO ONE thinks you’re smart!

Image

Being financially stable is a crucial factor in any relationship. It allows the relationship to grow and manifest into something more. Each woman has a ideal number as to what is financially stable to them. You best believe that the older they get, the more they want to be pampered. All this means is that your measly 9 to 5 salary is not going to cut it. On the other hand, the younger they are, the less you have to spend. In essence, you can get away with convincing your 19 year old that 50K is financially stable.

 

Again, you’re assuming all women only care about money. This is also assuming that the women wouldn’t want to work and contribute. What if I’m a 19 year old entrepreneur who already earns more than you? 

Image

Everything in this world breaks down and needs to be maintained. Women are no exception. It makes more sense to invest in your wife’s education and future rather than her body. Now there is nothing wrong with throwing some Ds on the chick, but constant Botox and retail therapy sessions could get quite expensive.

 

Invest in something that is going to make more sense for you in the future. There should be no need to constantly buy parts for that old wife of yours when you can use that same amount of money to educate the young one and make an actual alpha female, who will actually sound intelligent when you bring her to events.

 

Dear Eddie, this point has confirmed for me that if I ever meet you I am going to punch you in the face and then probably kick you in the balls just for good measure. Once again, women are not cars, you do not buy “parts” for them.
Do not offer to pay for a woman to get her boobs done. EVER! I cannot even begin to tell you how insulting that is. If you’re lucky enough to find a girl who will share her body with you and you insult her boobs you do NOT deserve her!
Trust me, if you start saying this shit at a party, it’s not going to be your girlfriend who looks stupid.

Image

While a 30-year-old woman is experienced and knows all the tricks of the trade, it could get quite tiresome putting in all that work, all the time. You just want to get yours and sometimes going younger is the best solution. Why not have someone who is fresh and is actually infatuated easily by your skills. A good flick of the clit and a pump of the lips should be enough to send her to the moon.

 

Don’t know if you’ve realised this but 19-year-olds have a lot of energy. Why would a girl want your 15 minutes (if that) when she can have longer with someone her own age who has more stamina. By your logic a 19-year-old man would be easier to “train” when a 30-year-old man might already think he knows what he’s doing and might not be willing to learn.

Image

These are the three best qualities in a young girl and one of the major factors one should keep in mind when considering marrying a 19-year-old girl. Unlike wine, a woman does not get better with age. She simply gets looser, her skin starts to wrinkle and her skills in bed begin to decrease as well. This should not even be a question, it’s like going with the old worn out Honda Civic or a new Ferrari Laferrari.

 

That’s your summary, here’s mine;
YOU’RE GOING TO DIE ALONE!

Now meet the lovely sensitive author, Eddie:

Image

My biggest problem with this guy? He is clearly trying to channel Robert Pattinson (see gratuitous pictures courtesy of GQ below) who is my future husband and the love of my life and future husband would never say such things. 

Image

Image

Image

 

 

 

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “The Reasons I Hate ‘Why You Should Marry A 19 Year Old’

  1. He’s so full of s***, isn’t he?

    I can’t believe this was written by a young guy – apparently, I live under the delusion that younger generations are more liberal than 50’s era curmudgeons grumbling about ‘wimin’ destroying the world.

    I don’t think I’ve had the ‘pleasure’ to read anything this sexist and misogynist in a long time.

  2. I don’t even know where to begin. This is outrageous!

    Thanks for pointing out that article and your witty comments!

  3. It’s true a woman’s stock goes down as she ages and she eventually hits menopause. Conversely (or for aging women – perversely) a mans stock goes up. As a man let me assure you, none of my peers or me ever wants to be with a woman who is older. If you are a woman with a younger man then he is there for the money but he won’t stay. Young women I know like older guys and it is frustrating but they like experience in a man. Men don’t want experience in a woman or age … We don’t mind being the 5th guy you’ve ever been with but we sure don’t wanna be the 50th guy … Anyway, that’s my two cents. A woman’s stock trade with a man is Her looks and her body. Period. Younger is better.

    • Stuart,

      I have decided to publish your comment for several reasons;
      First, although I don’t agree with your opinion, I accept that you have a right to it.
      Second, I appreciate the fact that you’ve taken the time to read this post and reply to it.
      Finally, if you attempt to run for public office one day I want a journalist to be able to find this and publish it so your constituents know your opinion of women.

      I am going to make a few assumptions based on your comment; you don’t have a partner, nor do you believe in long-term relationships because, why would you? You want to make sure you have the youngest, hottest thing on your arm. You also do not have any daughters (that you know of) because if you did, I can assure you your opinion would change and you would hate for any man to think of them as, basically a piece of meat with a very short shelf life.

      I have no reason to throw insults at you about your ignorance and stupidity because, trust me, you’ve already proved that yourself with your above comment. I can only hope that one day you find a strong, intelligent woman who proves you wrong.

      • Stuart is absolutely correct. I suspect you know this since you made no attempt to refute any of his points.

    • Stuart,
      You are probably hearing from women much older than I. Well let me tell you what I think of a man with that mindset. As a 19 year old girl, I am sure if you have any creditability you should be very interested. First of all I refute every bit of what you have to say. Second of all. I very much hope you contract some disease that won’t allow you the ability to sire another male of your breed simply because I would never want my daughter around anything of your sort. I have been with a “older man” as you put it. And I found him repulsive so much so that I married someone of my own age. Imagine this, he loves me not only for my body but also for my ability to reason and work together with him. Not one girl I know wants anything to do with anything with your mindset. And I can tell you that the older man you speak of caused me more baggage than my husband ever will considering he forced his attentions on me the night I turned 18. He broke me into a thousand pieces and gave me the baggage that a older woman probably would never have. And he had the same mindset as you. He had money, yes. But I hold dignity and a better respect for myself than settling for less that what I know I deserve. My husband is 21 and he is respectful, works with me to support us, and ultimately actually loves me for me not what my body can give him. He is more interested in the value of our relationship, not the quality of our sex. And to me the fact that he sees me as a woman, not equivalent to a piece of meat, will keep me loyal to him for the rest of my life. Imagine that. A man that loves his wife enough to still marry her after she had been used by an older man. I would rather a younger man not just because my mother does to. But simply because I have found, at age 19, that men tend to decline in maturity as they age. And eventually are non bending. And I would feel very used and unhappy if I was unfortunate enough to marry someone far older than I like that. And quite frankly most older men are know it alls who think a woman’s opinion has no value and there for treats her like she is stupid. They don’t compromise and there is not one 19 year old girl who can live with that. I’m glad I never fell in the trap of money. Because that is what it is. A trap.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s